Although postgraduate enrollment is booming globally and continentally to boost the knowledge economy, on-time completion remains a widespread problem, especially in sub-Saharan Africa. Theoretically grounded in adaptations of Tinto’s Student Integration Model and Bean’s Student Attrition Model, this study presents an empirical investigation of the determinants, bottlenecks, and completion rates of postgraduate candidates (Master’s and PhD) at The University of Bamenda (UBa) in Cameroon. The study is designed as an explanatory sequential mixed-methods study, involving document analysis of university registries; structured questionnaires from students (N=450), and in-depth thematic interviews with faculty and administration. The baseline results reveal a critical throughput crisis, with only 18% of PhDs and 32% of Master’s graduating on time. The research identifies three main causes of attrition: extreme financial insecurity (the “multiple-role burden”), crushing institutional bureaucracy, and grotesquely imbalanced supervisor-to-student ratios because of the academic “brain drain.” Importantly, the findings expand upon these conventional attrition frameworks by identifying a distinct localized variable: the ongoing North West and South West sociopolitical crises. Data show that repeated disruptions, including “ghost towns” and psychological trauma from crises, violently magnify the underlying systemic deficits and create an environment that strongly favors the spread of “phantom students.” To reverse this trend and transform UBa’s postgraduate pipeline into a robust engine of advanced research, this study ultimately proposes specific, data-driven structural interventions: the decentralization of ethics and examination bureaucracies, the implementation of cohort-based mentorship models to alleviate supervisory overload, and the establishment of flexible, crisis-adaptive academic policies.